Tuesday, February 26, 2008

MONDAY:Still Not Up To Par



Still sniffling and getting over this "bug" or whatever it is.....I wonder if I got sick just cuz my body is used to sniffling this time of year....Anyway these pics are proof that I was out of my mind...this is as closes as I got to to the Oscar red carpet on Sunday. Had I not been sick I would've walked from my pad to Hollywood and Highland and gotten all the snaps and eye fulls galore. But instead I drove and had to by pass Highland and parked on Vista where I backtracked to the Roosevelt....from this side ppl saw nothing...So my first year here for the Oscars was a bust...I thought to walk around but I started fevering up and sweating. On my way back some hayseed stopped me. He had to be in his early twenties...I'd say around 23 and his blonde hair was kinda jelled on the sides with the top sticking straight up (reminiscent of LLipnicki from Jerry McGuire.)He was wearing a ratty white button down ( I can see man boobs starting to form) and carrying a backpack. So me trying to be nice LA girl instead of NY (I don't want what you're selling) girl. I decided to hear him out while I waited for the light to change.


He wanted to know if I'd seen stars...he'd seen Harrison Ford and George Clooney...I thought he had said Brad Pitt but that might've been my fever taking over my thinking cuz Brad was a no show at the awards. I smiled politely and murmured "How wonderful for you." He wanted to know where I was from...and Oh my how ironic he was born in the Bronx and moved soon after. He wanted to know my background and guessed Italian and then PR....my response, "is that all you know about New Yorkers...we're either Italian or Puerto Rican." He was Italian and Cuban...didn't really see Cuban. He could've been Dutch, english, or Irish for all I cared or knew. It was like speed dating waiting for this light to mercifully change. I kept asking God:I'm sorry you can't send the hot guy from Lipstick Jungle....I'll take the dude from OTwon at this point...(a dude from Otown kept circling me and a friend at club V last weekend) I might've passed out right there on La Brea and Highland Oh but we not only had to wait for the light to change but to also wait for the guard to say we could go....The kid... Yes Lori I said kid....wanted to know if I was sick. I said yes...he wanted to know if I did drugs...my reply: why you selling? His response: Cuz the sweats could be from heroin shakes...... my thoughts: Good to know.
Light finally changes and I give this kid my number to go away...it might've been the right one...his phone is broken or something he says. He's looking at me like a juicy piece of bacon as I'm sweating in my sweater, thin jacket, and wool scarf....(listen if I wasn't wearing the scarf or sweater than I would be trembling from the cold)
So this kid who was actually really nice ....course not my type. I had originally thought he was an umbrella holder for the arriving limos.....that would've been a better story for him than the real one which was he took the bus from Santa Monica to see some stars.....I couldn't get fast enough away. I mumbled something about needing to rush off cuz I was not feeling too well (the truth really) and his final remark: Yes Ma'am... I will defintlenty be calling you.
It felt dirty and just not right to be called Ma'am as I made my way to the safelty of my car and then on to Trader Joes. Yep....even when I feel and look like death...I apparently still have it ugh..... and being called Ma'am is not hot.

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